Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day 104 - The Book Blurb Has Finally Been Vanquished

I have just spent another TWO HOURS battling that goddamn book blurb. I swear to F--- that is the hardest freaking thing you can possibly imagine. I'd rather just write another damn book. It’s been thirty-some-odd days since I started this mini-monster, and just, wow. I even have a whole bunch of really awesome advice from people, some stuff people wrote and sent to me, which I have digested and plucked delicious bits from (so thank you thank you everyone), and yet, still brutal do do.

So, gahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Anyway, I have just completed another draft of it. I’m probably going to go with this one, because I think it’s got all the right pieces from all the advice I got, while sticking to what I want to do too. So, we shall see. I actually like this one, despite the venom you see before you thus far. So, since there may be some among you curious, I shall paste it below and you can comment on it, vomit on it, or praise its beauty, rhythm and style. Frankly, at this point I am just glad to wash my hands of it. Mostly.

Okay. That little episode past, here it is:
They told him space travel was impossible. They told him the greatest wizards who ever tried it died. He’s going to do it anyway.

Altin Meade is a sorcerer running from a curse, the curse of Six: He’s got too much magic to control, yet not enough to save himself. No Six in his planet’s history has lived beyond the age of twenty-five. Altin is twenty-two. Determined to escape that fate, Altin seeks to leave his homeworld and remake his destiny amongst the stars. But first he has to invent a way to get there—a process that might bring about the very doom he’s trying to avoid.
Far across the galaxy, there is nothing Ensign Orli Pewter hates more than the cold emptiness of space. Brought aboard the spaceship Aspect as a child, she’s spent the last ten years amongst the stars living a life she never asked for, a life of misery. Bright, strong and beautiful, Orli is now an officer in the fleet from Earth, serving a role and a mission she did not choose. As the lumbering Earth ships hunt a mysterious race of genocidal aliens across the enormity of the galaxy, years are ticking off her life. She’s got to get away. She’s got to get out of space. But there is nowhere for her to go.
Or is there?
So there you have it.  I think this is what I’m going to use, although I have until I upload the book to change my mind (sigh). Thank you to everyone who read and helped. Seriously.

Oh, and I’ll write up the blog about my new Cris Ortega art shortly. It really is amazing. I got too caught up in this blurb and didn’t think of it till right now.


  1. He’s got too much magic to control, yet not enough save himself.

    He’s got too much magic to control, yet not (to) enough save himself ;-)

    Sounds good, John. In fact, I can't wait to read the book!

  2. Hah, I did it yet again. The old missing word trick. (sigh). Thanks for the heads up! (fixed)

  3. Are you sure you want to use "amongst the stars" in both paragraphs? I'd say Orli's paragraph should read..."she's spent the last ten years 'in the vastness of space' living a life she never asked for..."

    Here's my reasoning - "amongst the stars" is a hopeful, romantic phrase, likely to be used for Altin, who is dreaming of what's out in space. Orli knows (and doesn't like) what's out there. The language used for her paragraph should maybe be less romantic.

    Then you don't have the repetition of the phrase.

    Just a thought.

  4. Or Orli's paragraph could even read just "in space" - something like that.

  5. Yes, it's a real problem because there's only "stars" and "space" and space repeats in the spaceship as well as, well, the other places. It's a real PITA. lol.

  6. I just noticed my suggested correction is incorrect. (Wrong place). More proof of why I need to use an editor.

    I didn't notice the repetition of "amongst the stars" the first time I read your blurb, but if it bothers you, you could use "wandering the universe." It's not as accurate or poetic, but it is different.

  7. I'm no critic, John, but your blurb reminds me of a long lost author's work,"Venus on the Half Shell" by Kilgore Trout, Remember him? Haha. Ahh, the seventies!

  8. What about "in the void?" I think it would fit well with "cold emptiness" and you wouldn't have to use space it would give even more insight into how Orli really feels about space?

    Or of course, you could tell me to butt out! LOL

  9. I like Charlotte's suggestion also.

  10. Why is it so much easier to work on someone else's blurb than my own? I've changed "Enchantment's" blurb twice since I published it.

  11. Awesome suggestions, both, Charlotte and Motown. I guess I'm not quite done yet, lol. I sort of suspected as much, but I just wanted to be done with it. Such a PITA. :)

    Laurel, indeed I do remember the 70's. That's when I really discovered reading, and that's the sort of stuff that got me hooked. Phillip Jose Farmer was one of my first favorite authors. Esepcially the World of Tiers. Great stuff.

  12. Because working on our own blurbs SUCKS?

    Hey, can you tell me how to post using my Google account? Every time I try to post using it, it comes up as anonymous, yet you seem to be able to do it just fine.

  13. Damn it! I just typed an entire paragraph (using my iPad's keyboard) and then deleted the whole thing. Argggg!!!

    Okay, anyway ... I think what I had to do was change the settings in both Google's general "dashboard" and in Blogspot? Sorry I'm not more help. The only thing I can remember for certain, is that it was a royal pain in the a$$.

  14. Oh, be sure you have a photo loaded in your Google profile.

  15. Applause, applause!

    I hope you make a mint. Seriously.

    BTW I am so impressed with what you are doing, I am shamelessly copying your ambition (minus the fantasy novel). Looking at web hosting, gonna consolidate it all on my own site, kick it up a notch.

    You rock, John. Kudos.

  16. Sweet, Pam. You'll love the control you get. It's soooo worth the learning curve up front.

    As for my mint, I would be so happy if I could just support myself modestly by writing. What a perfect second half of life it would be to be able to make my living telling stories and giving people a few hundred pages of joy every now and then.

  17. I hope you get that, John.

    I'm semi-there. People talk about how crappy money is online, but I always think, money is crappy everywhere right now! Seriously, I've made more money writing for the net than I ever made writing for little literary magazines.

    You can't pay the electric bill in copies. ;)

  18. Hey John, I was just wondering if you ever got your photo to show up when you post comments?

  19. Thanks Pam. :) And I'm glad you are getting some. Maybe once I don't have so many dependents I can back off of the "for the man life consuming labor" thing and do more for me. We'll just have to see. (And can you imagine if you sent the power company a stack of lit rags, saying, "Hey, it says $6.00 on the cover, so here's 28 of them to cover my bill. Thanks." lololol)

    @ Charlotte, Well, actually, I did, but not by anythign I did. You'll notice up a few my picture IS in there. What I figured out was that if I post from work, it works. When I post from home, it doesn't. SO, either Comcast hates Google or they have me logged in from work and won't let me log in from anywhere else unless I log out from work... or something. Just now discovering that little possibility (gonna have an experiment right now trying to post this).

    [edit] after 15 tries, no matter how many times it makes me fill out the log in information for Google Profile, it absolutely will not, no matter what, let me post as myself from this computer. So, apparently, only from work. Which is totally lame, because I AM logged into the account and I can edit the blog, delete comments and all sorts of things. Totally, totally lame. So, I will now post as me that is not me. Again.]

  20. Ok, test post. Logging out after I post this. (I'm at work). We'll see if I can post at home this afternoon.

  21. Posting from my iPad to see if Google can tell the difference from it and my laptop.

  22. Logged out at work, trying again from home. It still won't work on IE, so trying Firefox.